Perfectionism as a Block:Why I Didn’t Publish Anything for a Long Time

Hairy hornwort is the german name of this flower– an ugly name for a perfect little flower!

For a long time, I had a lot to say – and still, I stayed silent. The reason wasn’t a lack of ideas, but perfectionism. The fear of not being good enough. Not clear enough. Not professional enough.

The fear of not being good enough 

Perfectionism often disguises itself as high standards. In reality, it is fear. Fear of being judged. Fear of rejection. Fear of visibility. Originally, I planned to focus mainly on YouTube, because I am a very visually oriented person. The channel has existed for a long time – but nothing really happened there. Because I wasn’t “ready” yet.

The videos weren’t good enough. The light wasn’t right. The sound wasn’t good. Or there might be a pimple on my nose that people could see.

My personal standstill 

After taking an endless amount of time just to film something, I realised how slow I actually was. Editing the videos took longer and longer, because I kept trying new tools, new techniques, better solutions. At some point, I pulled the emergency brake and stopped everything.

I was frustrated.I wanted to finally publish something – and yet I felt stuck.

What changed when I let go 

Today I know: growth doesn’t happen in perfection. It happens in doing. In unfinished thoughts. In honest in-between tones. I realised that I can express these much more easily in writing. I’ve blogged before – that’s familiar territory for me.

And the videos? I let go of the idea of uploading a perfect video every week. I’d rather publish less, imperfectly – but with joy, and on a regular basis.

I also decided to finally share my bike tour videos that have been sitting on my hard drive for a long time — some of them are even already edited and finished. I don’t want to create perfect travel films. With these videos, I want to inspire courage and joy for solo touring. That’s why I don’t think it matters if the footage is not brand new or up to date. Today, I would probably film them differently. But they are still part of my story. Not cinematic. But real — with rough edges, little imperfections, and sun spots on the lens.

This blog is also not a finished product. It’s a process. And that’s exactly why it feels right to me.

Watch the Video: cycling tour | renaissance castle, alpacas & tranquil landscape